Like Real People…

Hozier writes beautiful lyrics. Real life lyrics. Jackie and Wilson is another great example. He doesn’t sugarcoat his feelings. 

So tired trying to see from behind the red in my eyes,

No better version of me I could pretend to be tonight.

So deep in this swill with the most familiar of swine

For reasons wretched and divine.

She blows outta nowhere, roman candle of the wild

Laughing away through my feeble disguise

No other version of me I would rather be tonight.

And, Lord, she found me just in time

‘Cause with my mid-youth crisis all said and done

I need to be youthfully felt ’cause, God, I never felt young

She’s gonna save me,

Call me “baby”

Run her hands through my hair

She’ll know me crazy,

Soothe me daily

Better yet she wouldn’t care

We’ll steal her Lexus,

Be detectives,

Ride ’round picking up clues

We’ll name our children

Jackie and Wilson,

Raise ’em on rhythm and blues.

Lord, it’d be great to find a place we could escape sometime

Me and my Isis growing black irises in the sunshine

Every version of me dead and buried in the yard outside.

Sit back and watch the world go by.

Happy to lie back watch it burn and rust

We tried the world, good God, it wasn’t for us.

She’s gonna save me,

Call me “baby”

Run her hands through my hair

She’ll know me crazy,

Soothe me daily

Better yet she wouldn’t care

We’ll steal her Lexus,

Be detectives,

Ride ’round picking up clues

We’ll name our children

Jackie and Wilson,

Raise ’em on rhythm and blues.

Cut clean from the dream at night let my mind reset

Looking up from a cigarette, and she’s already left

I start digging up the yard for what’s left of me and our little vignette

For whatever poor soul is coming next

She’s gonna save me,

Call me “baby”

Run her hands through my hair

She’ll know me crazy,

Soothe me daily

Better yet she wouldn’t care

We’ll steal her Lexus,

Be detectives,

Ride ’round picking up clues

We’ll name our children

Jackie and Wilson,

Raise ’em on rhythm and blues.

I guess if you’re reading this Hozier, hit  me up. 

The Phoenix Correspondences in Alchemy


Direction: South

Southern symbolism (and hence the phoenix symbolism in alchemy) deals with purity, renewal, strength, health, and the present moment in time. 

Element: Fire 

Fire in alchemy is a symbol of transformation, purification, life, creation/creativity, consumption.

Celestial: Sun

Much like the fire, the sun’s connection to the phoenix in alchemical practice is akin to the cycle of time and cycles of life. It’s also symbolic of clarity, illumination, immortality and expression. 

Season: Summer

The summer season in alchemy is the same for almost every other cultural wisdom. It equates to growth, rejuvenation of the earth, continuation of life, and the symbolic celebration of the strength of the sun after being weakened through winter. 

Chemical: Sulfur

Alchemy is a practice that incorporates physical, mental, mythical. Red sulfur and phoenix energy would be simultaneously invoked in ceremonies intended to influence the universal principle of life. The element of sulfur in alchemy is synonymous with the animus (the soul), and is a powerful representative of existence. 


Turning 30


Waking up today feeling refreshed; simple gifts like the opportunity to sleep in are what I appreciate now. It’s not that I feel older because I still feel so young inside with so much to learn. The 30 year old will go to work, pay her bills, clean her home, take care of the things that the adults take care of. And I’m lucky enough to have the most curious and joyful baby girl to share that child inside me with. As for everything else that I wonder about, no more wondering because everything will fall into place. I’m no longer going to put effort or energy into anything that doesn’t flow with my life. For some reason I tend to seek out things that maybe I should just let go and push away things that flow to me.

We’ve all had that year that tested our inner strength to the breaking point. And this past year was it for me. I dealt with my trauma and change the best way that I knew how and unfortunately that was mostly on my own. I tend not to open up to a lot of people when times are hard maybe because I see it as a sign of weakness. Even though when others are going through similar situations I would be the first there to help and listen. But, here I am today… stronger and still with a soft heart. And so thankful life has not made me hard; cautious, yes. For awhile, it did… I was angry and sad. But looking back to my old writings, old blogs and old paintings, I remember that person that was optimistic through the rockiest times. 

I’ve got the old me back… the strength, fire, compassion, determination. And it feels really good… like I forgot how to breathe and slowly remembered what breathing felt like again. 

Maybe I’ll add more- but for now this feels complete. 



As the day ends I’ll post a few photos to remind myself when I look back in a few months or years, not to take myself or life too seriously. Yes, those are my feet. 

 And yes, this is me in my kigorami gift. 

Proof that you don’t really have to grow up. I am only truly happy when I allow myself to be the person I truly am (all of me). 


and just like you, all of us; …


With love- 


Arsonist’s Lullabye

When I was a child, I heard voices…
Some would sing and some would scream
You soon find you have few choices…
I learned the voices died with me

When I was a child, I’d sit for hours
Staring into open flame
Something in it had a power,
Could barely tear my eyes away

All you have is your fire…
And the place you need to reach –
Don’t you ever tame your demons
But always keep ’em on a leash


When I was 16, my senses fooled me
Thought gasoline was on my clothes
I knew that something would always rule me…
I knew the scent was mine alone

All you have is your fire
And the place you need to reach
Don’t you ever tame your demons
But always keep ’em on a leash

When I was a man I thought it ended
When I knew love’s perfect ache
But my peace has always depended
On all the ashes in my wake

All you have is your fire,
And the place you need to reach
Don’t you ever tame your demons,
But always keep ’em on a leash…

Venus and Jupiter; together at last!

June 28, 2015  

 Couldn’t ask for a better birthday present for my 30th birthday tomorrow! And once again I am reminded, it’s the (not necessarily) little things… but things you can’t buy that have the most meaning. 

The two brightest planets are gliding closer together in the early evening sky, and their celestial dance culminates with an ultra-close pairing on June 30th. 

Anyone who pays even cursory attention to the evening sky has surely noticed that the two brightest planets, Venus and Jupiter, have been drawing closer together in the west in the evening twilight. At the beginning of June, the two planets were 20° apart in the sky, about twice the width of your fist held at arm’s length. Week by week, Jupiter and the stars behind it have gradually slipped lower in the evening twilight. But Venus, due to its rapid orbital motion around the Sun, has stayed high up. 

The resulting slow-motion convergence is setting the stage for a dramatic sky sight. The warm-up act came on June 19th and 20th, when the planetary duo was joined by a thin and lovely crescent Moon. Farther to their upper left, and fainter, was Regulus, the alpha star of Leo. 

But now the spectacle is taking an even more dramatic turn — one you just can’t miss. For eight nights beginning June 27th, these two bright planets will be within 2° of each other — close enough to cover both with the thumb of an outstretched hand. In the midst of that weeklong run, on June 30th, Venus and Jupiter will appear so close together — just 1/3° apart — that they’ll look like a tight, brilliant double star in the evening sky. You’ll be able to cover both with the tip of an outstretched pinky finger. Amazing stuff! 

And finally on June 30, 2015, the conjunction I’ve been waiting for- no picture, so I will post my Night Sky app photo. Venus and Jupiter appear as one. 

Venus And Jupiter Will Appear To Merge And Form A “Double Star” Tonight


The Middle Pillar Ritual

Western Hermetic Mysteries

… a way to clear attachments and negativity, raise your energy and maintain balance.

Based on the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn (a Kabbalistic practice is used to bring all unbalanced states: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual realms into harmony)

((more to come later))



The Fire

Challenges, change and chaos provide an opportunity to show how strong we really are. A chance to walk through the fire and and test your inner strength. And when we are faced with constant challenges, it eventually builds character that is flexible but unbreakable. Like an old, strong tree that will bend and sway with the winds but stand it’s ground. 


♦ AND REMEMEMBER, always… ♦








This is the ninth theory. Facing the fire head on, creating structure from chaos. Frequent and necessary rebirth; shedding the old, worn out skin. Not being easily swayed from your beliefs and values but having the wisdom to allow those beliefs to evolve. Being open minded and allowing yourself the freedom to evolve… do not become set in your ways. As above, so below. If you are not growing, you are dying. 

Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev

  The objection raised by a section of the Muslim society towards yoga is an ill-informed resistance. 

“Yoga’s antiquity goes back to 15 millennia when even the idea of religion did not exist in human mind, but yoga did,” said Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev at the India Today Body Rocks event. 

“What we need to understand is that yoga predates all religions. This is an outcome of a profound observation of the human mechanism; the most sophisticated gadget on the planet. 

“The simple question is have you read the users’ manual?” asked the smiling guru, who is also creator of the Isha Foundation. 

Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev was one among a galaxy of prominent yoga practitioners and teachers brought together by India Today on the occasion of June 21 being declared as International Yoga Day. 

In a blissful gathering at the Taj Palace hotel, Brahmakumari Sister Shivani, author Ira Trivedi and actor Nimrat Kaur, amongst others, gave the audience valuable advice on Yoga and its various asanas. 

Junking the idea that yoga requires bowing down to Hindu deities or the sun, the Yoga guru said: “Yoga doesn’t demand that you bow down to anyone. Your well being is entirely yours. Only at the time of instruction you have to be with somebody. Once you know what to do, you don’t need to go to anybody or bow down to anyone.” 

“Yoga is the science of inner well being. Even when the so-called physical or modern sciences came about, the first people to resist were the religious people. This is because they have set beliefs and ideas which don’t go with anything else,” observed the mystic with over 100 titles in eight languages to his name. 
“For surya namaskar,” he elaborated: “The sun salutation is an English translation, an unfortunate translation. Surya namaskar does not mean sun salutation. 

“Every life on this planet — whether it’s an earthworm, a plant or a human being — is solar powered, so the sun’s energy is stored in us. The question is how we make use of it.” 

“Surya namaskar is about seeing that your batteries don’t deplete too often, which is happening to the modern society. If they skip one meal, they have headaches, tension and all kinds of anxieties. 

“Yoga is about taking into consideration all five dimensions of the body — the physical, mental, energy, etheric body and bliss — and making its optimal utilisation.” 

“For the first time, the world has recognised that if human beings have to be well they have to look inwards,” Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev said.

“We have divided humanity in ways that we can’t fix in near future. The only way we can be well is by turning inwards because human experience is generated from within.”